and you said cock pushups were impossible
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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