whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
