I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
