It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
