It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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