First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
