You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
