goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
