In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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