I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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