a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
