You work out of a Hotel?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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