what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
