Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
we're so committed to being not committed
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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