just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
