you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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