Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
