READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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