I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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