i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
