i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
third nipple confirmed
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
