Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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