I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I love you.
Bad choice
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
