Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
