I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
sex in a hospital.. check
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
