that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
