Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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