fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
