gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
