Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
