I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
