They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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