its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
