My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
