I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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