you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
