Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
