Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
