He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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