I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
