There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
