don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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