my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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