I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We got so high we made milksteak
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
