In America we eat man semen.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I smell like Dick and happiness
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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