I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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