Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I am naked and annoyed.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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