I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
