That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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