I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
