You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
